Send a Raven: Newsletter #12
The time is now
Happy (very belated) Easter, Ravens!
How we are already 4 whole months into the year? I have no idea. And the older that I get, the passing of time is something I find myself pondering more and more.
When did my dad start going grey? What do you mean my little sister doesn’t need my guidance anymore? When did my grandma become so frail?
But every spring, I’m reminded just how trivial time really is; everything and nothing all at once; something we yearn to pass, but fail to recognize. One day, everything is cold and dark, and then in the blink of an eye, it’s green and sunny. Leaves cover bare branches before we even have the time to notice they’ve started growing, and before we know it, they’re back on the ground, and we didn’t even realize they’d started to change.
Profound concepts aside, holy fucking shit I’m publishing for the first time next month
Which I think is what has me so hung up on the passing of time, because I have no idea when this far away dream got so close…especially when the days where it felt like nothing but a far away dream, don’t feel so far away.
A year ago, the thought of surrendering the proverbial security blanket that was my emotional-support WIP scared the shit out of me. But today, I couldn’t be more excited to shed it like a skin that I’ve outgrown; to move on from the firsts and finally start utilizing everything I’ve learned along the way. And that is very much what has been carrying me through this final push. Do I know how I’m going to make it there? Sure don’t! But I know that before I know it, I’m going to be there, and the worries of how I’d arrive will be nothing but leaves on the ground.
Without the fancy metaphors and clever tie-ins, I’m feeling good about the book. Does it continue to prove to be more work than I ever imagined? Fuck yes lol. But all the worries I had just months ago have proven to be but freshly sprouted blades of grass not yet tall enough to be noticed by eyes trained for summer (ok sorry last one). I’ve managed to carve the length down significantly, and the amount of work I have ahead of me is just daunting enough to keep me motivated.
I had, however, towards the end of last month, made the executive decision not to do ARCs. Which, one would think, wouldn’t have been a hard call to make since I’d never planned on doing ARCs in the first place, but as I started to move with more structure and intention, I’d really wanted to establish a process from the get-go, which just didn’t end up being realistic with the timeline I’m working with, and pushing the release date is something I absolutely refuse to do. So if you have read ARAC on Wattpad, AO3, or fanfiction.net, please please please leave it a review
As far as what’s been keeping me afloat in the meantime?
Thanks to my birdwatching (I’m at 42 species for the year, since you asked), I’ve become one of those people who needs to spend every moment of half-decent weather outdoors (arguably my healthiest coping mechanism, and my body sure isn’t complaining)
Sweet, sweet Vyvanse
My wonderful patient boyfriend who drops me off treats and gifts while I’m editing, and never complains about how much time I spend in front of the computer
Good fruit coming back into season (specifically kiwi, but watermelon better watch out)
The Empyrean series (yes, it is absolutely worth the hype, and no one is more shocked than me)
Coco Wyo colouring books (yes, these are also worth the hype, and so are the $200 alcohol markers)
Crumbl, always
Impulsively revamping spaces in my house so that I feel a sense of control
They say that comparison is the thief of joy, but I’ve come to recognize that the real thief here, is time. And while that permanent impermanence used to intimidate me, it now brings me comfort, because though time steals things like youth, familiarity, and security, it also steals things like fear, heartbreak, and grief.
Notice the freshly sprouted buds and yellowing edges of leaves, because before you know it, it’ll be nothing but another moment you’re pondering the distance of. And whether that fact evokes dread or anticipation has no bearing on how quickly it slips through your fingers.
The time, my friends, is now.
So cool to read this in hind-sight, after the release. Proud of you always <3